Job Search

Several months ago, I applied for two jobs at two different airlines because I really want to get free airfare and because I love planning out trips for people. I am on the waiting list for both of them, but was told if I don't hear anything by December, to reapply, if the job is relisted. So I have been waiting. And waiting. And have heard nothing yet. But I am still holding out hope that my number could come up and I could finally get a job that I really want.

During this time, I have talked with two people who work for the company and they have said they would see what they could find out. One lady that I met with even said that she knows one of the CEO's of the company. I thought, "Excellent!" I have since called this lady that I know twice and both times she has told me that she would find out and call me right back. She never has.

The other girl that works for this company is my husband's cousin. I talked with her recently and she said that she would call her supervisor and see if she could find out where my application is in the process. I waited for her to email me back. And she never did. So I emailed her last week. I still haven't heard anything back from her.

It makes me frustrated that these people say that they are going to help me out, but haven't. It would even be better if they just let me know they tried and couldn't find anything out. Even if they were lying.

Seeing how my husbands work is slowing down and wretched Christmas is coming up, I am starting to panic about money. I think that maybe I should go out and get a part time job since my youngest is at preschool now but I worry that once I do, one of these other jobs that I really want is going to become available. But at the same time, I also don't want to go out and just get a job that I am settling for. I have been a stay at home mom for 10 years now and really want to do something that I want to do, not something that is just there. But the problem is that since I was stupid and got married so young and dropped out of college, I have no real job skills to do anything. Other than doing a $9 an hour airline job. But that's what I really want and don't care so much that it doesn't pay very much.

I'm also scared that I won't be very good at any job since I haven't had one in over 10 years. Failure scares the snot out of me so, as stupid as it sounds, I would rather not try something at all rather than try and fail.

There is also another job listed at a travel agency that I have considered that I think I would like. But again, I am worried that if I get it, the airline job would become available and I would much rather do that. And as sad and selfish as it sounds, working for the travel agency won't give me very many travel benefits and definitely not any free airfare which is a huge thing. It doesn't matter if I get free hotels in England if it costs me $1000 to get there.

I hate not knowing if there is a possibility that I could get a job with the airlines. It's holding me back from applying for other jobs that would at least bring in a paycheck. I just don't know what to do.