I live in a close-knit community where everyone knows everyone and we all have a billion kids. And every one loves being a stay at home mom. Except for me. I've always been the odd man out. So some people decided to come up with an idea to do playgroup every week during the summer and take our kids someplace fun. At first I thought, Hey this isn't such a bad idea and it might be fun to get out of the house. So I went. Once. And all I could think was, "These women are so full of crap! No one is that happy to be a mom all the time."
I've never been one to sugar coat things; I prefer the truth and getting straight to the point. So I talked about how my daughter drives me out of my mind everyday - and how I hate summer and can't wait for school to start - and how desperately I want to get out of the house and get a job. And many of these women just looked at me like I was some kind of devil woman who doesn't love her kids very much. I went home and cried. And I hardly ever cry. I just felt like I didn't belong. I guess I am just an oddity who shouldn't be allowed to have children because I'm not as of good as a mom as these other people. I know it's a pity party, but it's just how I felt afterwards. I really don't think I'll be going back anytime soon.
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7 comments:
WORD! i am so happy to hear someone else say it! i hate play groups, and i hate those types of moms. I think that the moms that act like that are the ones are secretly alcoholics or hitting the crack pipe! NO ONE can be Mary Freaking Sunshine all the time.
Sorry that it bothered you and that you cried. I hate crying too! But i am sure that you are the majority, even if the moms at the play groups are full of CRAP!
There's a mom like that in our group of friends. She has two kids but her house looks like a freaking NURSERY SCHOOL, and she always has these art projects going and is inviting everyone over for sprinkler parties, etc. I think she just genuinely loves kids and kid stuff. And I used to admire her and feel guilty I wasn't more like that, but you know, that's her thing! It's fun for her. It's not fun for me. And I have stopped feeling bad because I don't genuinely enjoy doing little kid stuff all the time. I don't love my kids any less than she does just because I have outgrown playing and prefer gossip and cocktails!
I think some moms still don't get that peer pressure follows us through motherhood. If they would just own up to their true feelings & admit "Yep my kid can be a jerk somedays & there are moments when I just don't like them very much" ~ the world would be a happier place in the long run.
Or mine would be at least.
I avoid playgroups like the freakin plague ~ but I can't stand the kids just about as much as the moms get on my nerves. I'm the freak who doesn't like a lot of other people's kids.
It's funny, I'm a work at home mom and I'm completely tied to my house, so playgroups look all fabulous to me, like I'm the only one who never gets to go and they must all be doing great stuff without me. Maybe I don't miss so much after all!
I'm sorry it sucked. You know they think things like that too sometimes- they're just jealous you're able to say it out loud.
"NO ONE can be Mary Freaking Sunshine all the time. "
Loved that, lol. I so agree.
I think it's just different personalities, you know?! I'm one of those laid back yet don't hold back about what is really on my mind type of people.
People who are perky 24/7 make me nervous. I'm either waiting for them to come in waving a gun or find them swinging from the rafters one morning.
Now that my youngest of 4 is 14yr. old, I look back and WISH I had enjoyed them more when they were toddlers, but to be honest I ALWAYS looked forward to the beginning of school (still do!). I love my kids to the ends of the earth, but I just wasn't the "oh goodie, lets make big messes in the kitchen and bond" type (tho I did let them make the messes, I just wasn't thrilled about it). It does go by really fast and I sometimes regret not being 'Mary Sunshine' more often, but I wasn't wired that way and my kids don't seem to be any worse off for it. And the funny thing is, my 21 year old is finally going away to college this year, he just had no desire to leave home, so I guess I didn't make it all that miserable a place to be :)
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