So I am now in the recovery stage of getting my breast augmentation and tummy tuck done and holy junk, am I in pain. Is it worth it? I'm sure it is; just ask me again when the pain in gone and I can cough without severe pain. But what I want to write about is an entirely different subject. I have this good friend of mine who has been helping me out so much. She has brought me food, watched my kids, and even stripped my drains from the surgery site. Now that's friendship.
But I have such an inferiority complex around her. My friend is beautiful; not just beautiful, stunningly beautiful. In fact, we went to a Mary Kay seminar once and the hostess made the point to say how beautiful she is - on more than one occasion. It really didn't help my self-esteem. I don't hate her for her beauty, not in the least bit; I'm not even jealous of it. I just wish I didn't feel so inferior around her. And I often wonder why she even likes me. I always want to ask her that, but how in the world do you start that conversation: "So I have low self-esteem and you are so pretty and popular; why in the world do you like me?"
I know true friendship has nothing to do what on the outside, but I still can't help but wonder why she is always so nice to me. I really treasure her friendship and would never want to do anything to mess that up. And she is just so nice to me all of the time. She is the only person that will call me up out of the blue just to see how I am doing. And I can actually talk with her about it; I've never really had that before. I'm very guarded and keep things private and to myself, but with her, I feel like I can trust her with my secrets. So I really don't understand why I feel so inferior around her, I just know I do.
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