Where's the Passion?

I have been married for over 10 years now and my husband loves me very much; and I love him. But you know what I miss terribly? Passion. That "I've gotta have it now" feeling. That excitement and rush. That exhilaration of not being able to contain yourself and ripping your clothes off just to feel that hot, sweaty body. Basically, the kind of passion that everyone seems to have in the movies and the kind that we had the first few years of marriage. Now it's boiled down to, "Hey baby, you wanna do it?"

I want to feel young and sexy and desirable. Not like I'm just a sex "gas station" who just there to service my husband. Sometimes I wonder if I more than just a who-ha and a pair of boobs to him. If I didn't have those, I would be completely useless. I want him to love me for me, not for my boobs. If I could, I would cut them off and let him have them to carry around and feel up wherever he wants. Sometimes they just annoy me anyway; especially now that they hang down to my knees from the pregnancies and breastfeeding. Yesterday, I wore a new shirt and he said to me, "That's a nice shirt, but it would look better if your boobs were bigger." Thanks. Was that suppose to be a compliment?

It doesn't help that I hate my body either. I feel like it's so flubbery and and so not cute from before my kids and when I actually had time to have more that goldfish crackers and a slice of bread for lunch. The idea of being naked kinda sucks the passion right on out of me. I know that's my issue and not his, but I'm pretty sure that even if he were blind, he would still grope me in the middle of the night and be like, "Oh are you awake...?"

I want to feel the passion again; the thrill of the hunt and that feeling when it's all so new and fun. Is it possible to have that again after all these years? Will I ever find the time to make the change to make my body look the way that I want so that I can feel sexy again? Or am I just in for a lifetime of, "Are we ever going to do it again?"